It’s been well over a year since I put up this blog.
Since then, a lot has happened in my life that I promised to myself I was going to religiously document in detail and write down. Sadly, most of them ended short in the documentation process and essays of these typical (some legendary) endeavors are yet to see the light of day… perhaps, never.
The main problem I guess is in the purpose of why this blog exists in the first place. You see, about more than a year ago, I was employed to this Engineering firm in IT. Park, Cebu. Being a trainee, every working day became a bloody battle with boredom. In my worst times, I could barely hold my eyelids open to save my life. The Big Boredom Theory was conceived on the promise that writing would keep me awake for most of the day so that I could sleep at night knowing that I was still employed the next day. Simply put, sleeping in my workplace was and still is a capital sin.
But that was a year ago when I had more idle time than I know what to do with. Right now, the very notion of me doing absolutely nothing at work has become a winged unicorn of sorts. It’s simply non-existent. To be accurate, I have become one of those busy bees at work I used to just sit and watch in my throne of Snoreville. Well, it is actually a good thing, really. I don’t have to count the hours anymore until work is over. In fact, I’m so short of time on my busiest days that I even have to work on some Sundays.
My desktop wallpaper color-tweaking days are so behind me.
And while all this work is a good thing for the payroll, it is a problem for the blog. I just can’t find time to write anymore. In fact, this particular piece was to be written on October of 2014, when I officially celebrated my first year with word press (which has been amazing, by the way). And here l am, writing my first draft on January of 2015. That’s a four-month delay.
Between this blog’s conception and today, I have written a handful of musings that never became anything more than drafts. There were really good ones, but cutting into breaks while writing them just took away the momentum. But to be fair, I came here to work, anyways, and having so much work to do means I have succeeded. I have defeated boredom. No, I have hacked that asshole into pieces.
So, I tried writing at home instead.
The thing is, my home is a completely different environment from the workplace. No, I don’t get job requests from the boss but that doesn’t mean I am not busy. I thought I wasn’t, but in fact I was. Funny. Before android phones and torrents waltzed their way into my life, I would simply resort to sleep on my free time. Maybe read a little on the side, but mostly just sleep. But now, all thanks to YIFY, I don’t get that much sleep anymore. There are gazillion of things to binge watch. Besides, it’s really hard to concentrate at home with the mother always giving orders. Oh, now that I think about it, I do have a boss at home. And we also have a year-old dog which is just irresistible. The point is I can’t write at home as well.
This brings me to the question; do I still have to do this? Do I still have to continue writing?
Come to think of it, if I discontinue this blog, there wouldn’t be much of an impact, anyways. For more than a year, I barely made it below five thousand views. Although I appreciate each and one of those views, they pale in comparison to the views other blogs are getting. I know someone who’s got like 70,000 views and that was a long time ago. Right now, he might have even surpassed a hundred thousand. But I’m all there is to blame. I have an average output of a write-up for every month, I think. It is not because I run out of things to write, in fact, there are a lot of things I want to write, like my travels which are really important to me, it’s just that I haven’t found the right time to write them. Even, my last article about Interstellar is infested with typo’s, for crying out loud!
And my netbook just completely gave up on me. The battery got fried ages ago so its life source was solely on its frail charger which ultimately met its end as well. I’m not so comfortable writing on the PC at home with the folks passing by. This is kind of a secret, you know. It’s a lame one but I’d rather keep it to a few people. Which brings me to a funny story.
You should know that I’m a huge fan of The Verge. I read their articles as often as I can and I always keep myself to date with their latest reviews and whatnot. I’d capture a Basilisk if that’s what it takes to work with the likes of David Pierce and Nilay Patel (although I know I’m severely underqualified). I just enjoy watching and reading their reviews from the latest smartphones to their not so recent take on the Oreo cookie. So it is not hard to imagine that the analytical aspect of seeing something has kind of brushed off on me. So whenever I talk with friends from work about a recent movie for example, I’d always be like “the performance was really on point” Or something like “that plot was not for everyone” or something that sounds as shitty as “the storyline was so ahead of its time”. Blah blah blah. Long story short, I told some of them I had this blog. I had to, or they’d think I’m a falsie. This is kind of a milestone, really. I feel like this is something you should keep private. Oh, like Walter White’s meth business. Which is way more interesting than this but you get the point.
But even though I was not as prolific a writer as I had earlier hoped, those times that I did write felt really good. There is this feeling I get from writing a composition that is comparable to getting a warm bath in a cold morning. I’d even go on to calling it therapeutic at times. When I’m scribbling down, especially when I’m in a really good mood, I have to constantly push my fingers to keep up with the thoughts that are just gushing out from the seams of my brain. And I enjoy that a lot. It’s just me cruising in this sea of adrenaline and ideas. I forget everything. I forget my abhorrent tax deductions, the extremely long voyage to my house, Ned Stark’s death. Everything. And I don’t think this is something I can let go just yet.
Besides I can’t be busy forever. There will always be some downtime. And I do hope when that time comes, I’d have a piece of paper and a pen. I might have hacked the living hell out of boredom but I’m pretty sure he’ll be back. And when he does, I’m going to gut him and feed him his insides. Well, not that harsh but I’ll figure out something close.